How to Decode Your Desires

What do you desire? Sounds like an easy question, right? But, for some people (my past-self included) that can be a pretty loaded question. I spent months just not quite feeling like myself. I kept telling myself I was great as a stay-at-home mom, and this is what I should be doing. I should be happy; I have a beautiful, healthy little boy who loves me, a husband who provides for me in every imaginable way, life is great! 

The problem, though, was I didn’t really love myself. I was squashing my true desires trying to conform to what I thought I should be doing. Every time I logged into Facebook and saw successful entrepreneurs smiling and creating engaging communities I felt resentment. I got angry that they were so happy, how dare they! It took me a while, but I finally had that “aha” moment while scrolling on the page of one especially chipper female success coach. I want that! That’s why I’m so mad- she has what I want! Oh jealousy, how funny you are.

In that moment I made a promise to myself. I decided to take control of my path. No longer would I be scoffing at the hundreds of followers successful women had, I would be one of those women. Right about this time I was set to take a vacation to visit family. As a stay-at-home-mom, one of my biggest challenges has been using my time to work on myself. The universe delivered in a big way this time, giving me a solid three weeks with plenty of helping hands. I capitalized. I spent a few hours each day diving into my desires, meditating, and getting crystal clear. 

It was during this time that I found I live for helping people and making them feel a deep sense of love for themselves. And I have a real soft spot for women like me, busy ladies that know life isn’t about working to live, it’s about self-fulfillment, abundant living and unapologetically chasing your dreams. The journey wasn’t perfect, but where I am today is the perfect place for me right now. I want you to be in that “perfect right now”, too. 

Everyone will experience the journey in her own unique way, but the questions you have to answer are all the same. Take time to think about these questions. Really digest them, think about what they mean to you and get it on paper. Just let the words flow. Sometimes you may look at you wrote and be surprised, but that’s what this is all about! As females, we are SO good at chasing away our dreams if they don’t line up with what we’ve been told our whole lives. Can you make a promise right now? Say it with me:

I promise to honor my unique desires. I live my life for myself on my terms.

Fantastic! Now that you’re committed, let’s dive in! 

Grab your journal and record any thoughts you have while answering these questions. Don’t leave anything out; sometimes the smallest nuggets are the most valuable!

1.     When I was a child, what did I dream of becoming as an adult?

2.     What is different about your current life than what you imagined as a child?

3.     What does your dream life today look like? 

4.     What I want more of in my life right now is

5.     What do I most love to do?

6.     What do I most dislike doing?

7.     I’m happiest when

8.     I feel frustrated when

9.     If I could have anything in the world, I would have

10. My non-negotiable “wants and needs” include 

Use these answers as a guide to living your life. I know sometimes it isn’t totally feasible to, say, quit doing laundry if that’s on your list of dislikes (it’s in my top three), but think about what you could do to slowly lighten your load. Maybe you could do a few large loads per week rather one every day or get help from your spouse. Or maybe even look at where you could rearrange expenses to hire a housekeeper one day a week. As females we tend to dismiss things as impossible before we really evaluate the possibility. A typical housekeeper would charge about $30 for an hour of cleaning. That’s not much, especially when you look at the tradeoff of more time for you to do something you actually love. 

Make your desires non-negotiable. One of the amazing things I’ve learned about taking care of yourself first is that it is incredibly easier to take care of others once you are in a good place. Now that you have a clearer picture of what you want, take the inspired action to get there. I did, and I know you can too! 

With Love & Gratitude,


PS. Are you ready to say YES to your desires in a big way? I have 4 spots for 90-day 1:1 coaching open. Jan 1 the price will be increasing, so get started on your dream life TODAY!