3 Questions to Ask When Your Business is Stuck in a "Fail" Cycle.

I used to find myself thinking back on this nearly three-year journey in my online business and feeling much resentment towards some of the advice I was given in the beginning.

I was so convinced that I needed to follow the most successful woman's five-step-formula-to-success that any time an idea popped up I would immediately throw it into the five-step process and kill it with overthinking, overcomplicating and straight up confusion. 

Formulas are great- when you create them to work with you. But they're not so great when they become that rigid structure to which you must fit everything into to meet your idea of success.

About 6 months into my online business, I was feeling broke, lost and on the verge of quitting. Nothing was working how the coaches I was following said it should. Some serious self-doubt crept in, every insecurity I had about myself was amplified- because, hello! I was failing! 

The clients weren't rolling in like I had imagined, the ideas were drying up, none of my content felt like me, and I was absolutely not inspired to create. It was a drag. I started to feel like I was back in an office working someone else's model- but without the much-needed social interaction that comes with being in an office. What was the point??

It was about that time that my spiritual awakening came in full force. I began to understand that there was so much more to all this self-development work. There was a whole layer that I felt like I was missing out on. A deeper layer that would connect me more to my truth- my passion.

I became obsessed with discovering my "purpose". I retooled my business to meet me where I was at in my spiritual journey- I decided I wanted to use my new-found spirituality to help others connect deeper into theirselves, too.

I was feeling so much better about myself. I was finally seeing the root of my confidence issues, recognizing the patterns that were keeping me feeling stuck and experiencing much deeper happiness and freedom along the way.

But when it came to my business, I still felt lost. I had no idea how to incorporate my newly discovered path into a business. I was so frustrated! 

Now, let's fast forward to 2018. Something has become blatantly obvious to me about the "struggle" that I was constantly perceiving in my business. 

It was never about the systems or the content. It wasn't even my confidence to be honest with you here. It was a bigger issue- one that we so often overlook because it's not taught to us. For some, it comes naturally, but for others we can so easily become stuck in a cycle of overthinking, over-analyzing our feelings and, frankly, tearing ourselves apart from the inside-out.

I turned deeply into my spiritual practice to seek answers. I prayed, I used my tarot cards, I booked psychic readings.

PLEASE, GOD, TELL ME WHAT TO DO NEXT!!!

This became my prayer, my cry. And the answer was so simple that it took me stepping outside of my business, giving it space and not overthinking it to hear the answer-

Decide.

Wait, what? Decide what? I'm pretty sure I decided when I started that this was what I wanted. 

But when I sat with this and felt it in my heart, I knew that I hadn't truly decided. I hadn't decided that this business was exactly what I wanted. I had decided that it would be nice to have an online business that was successful, made me feel lit up every single day and propelled me into a path of high service.

My initial decisions was more like- well, it would be really nice to have a business that I could work from home in and that would help me feel like I was somewhat using the Master's degree I paid so much money for. It would be great if it actually did work out for me, I don't know if that's realistic, it seems pretty far-fetched, but I'll give it a try.

My decision was I'll give it a try. Not much conviction there, eh? 

So, many, many learned lessons, healing thoughts and feelings and finally, a decision is what it took for me to be here, today, writing to you in the fully realized energy of being a conscious Creator.

The middle part is the juiciest, I know, but I've left that part out for today-there's a whole book about that! Really, I'm writing a book about this beautiful, perfectly imperfect journey. 

The message I want to leave you with from this really never-ending story is this:

What I've come to learn is that we are all guided to our purpose if we choose to be aware of the guidance. It's not a question that can be answered anywhere outside of ourselves, and we cannot live our purpose inside of a 5-step system. 

What I needed most before starting my own business was the awareness that I simply had to decide what I wanted to give. And I had to convince myself over and over again every single day that it was the perfect decision for me until it became so ingrained in who I am that it spoke louder than any other previous decision I had made about myself.

So, if you, too are on on this never-ending journey of self-discovery, service to God and a deepening into love, here are the "Big-3" Questions I urge you to ask yourself every single day to step out of the paradigm of not enough, and into the feeling of always knowing what to do.

1. What do I want and why?

2. Do I believe anywhere within me that I cannot do this? What will it take to change that?

3. Am I ready to decide that it is mine?

Kirstie Dempsey