I've Been Hiding From You
I wanted to deliver a message to you today straight from my heart- no holds barred.
I sat down this morning and felt the fire burning within me. It's a fire of transformation, of being so done with certain elements of how life was "supposed" to be. This full moon is not messing around!
I've prayed to be a full expression of myself. To Serve at my highest, to be a beacon of light. It's what I'm here for, and I'm really done with the whole questioning my purpose paradigm I used to play in.
You've been there, right? Most of us have. It's how my journey started.
Why am I here? What is this nagging feeling of wanting more? How can I be happy with every aspect of my life? Who do I really want to become? Who am I? What is my purpose here?
You know there's more to life, many of us are riding the flow of our purpose, using our gifts to create more fulfillment.
And a lot of us have even realized that the real secret of life is just to be fulfilled, joyful, free. To live in a world of freedom and love.
But this, too, can come with it's questions. And as we ask ourselves deeper questions, we have an opportunity to grow and evolve even more.
And then there comes a point when you have faith in yourself. You have faith in your message, in your service, in you desires- and then your ego takes you on a little trip.
You start to question your desires. Is this just a material want, something I don't really need, is this really loving?
In our society it is SO easy to get tripped up in the endless messages we are bombarded with. Consumerism is rampant. We're too materialistic. And if you're a millennial you then get hit with accusations of being entitled. Being too this or too that. It's fucking exhausting, right?
So you try to find a place to settle. A place that looks good on social media, that looks good to your community, a place you know deep down is a place of appeasement and compromise.
And then you get that magical thing called contrast. You see your peers who aren't holding back. Who are stepping FULLY into their desires. They're bringing in mad cash. They're getting blowouts every week. They're at Chanel or Gucci or whatever store they go into and get lit up by.
And your ego creeps up.
They're so egotistical. How selfish. If they were really being of service they wouldn't be there. They wouldn't be bragging about what they have. They would just be serving more and giving more.
Funny how the ego works that way, right? It likes to self-soothe in the strangest of ways.
And it's ok. It's part of like, part of being human, a critical part of our growth.
But if you're being really fucking real with yourself, what do you want? What do YOU want? Without any judgement?
I sat down this morning and wrote this following bit. I hope that you can feel it. I hope that you can deepen into a greater self-awareness when you take in these words:
It’s so easy to think we are fully expressing ourselves when we’re not. When we’re still filtering. Still playing into the “good girl” paradigm.
We must be loving, kind and not offensive. We must be a lot of things to fit into other people’s boxes.
But do you know who that never works out for?
How do you expect to be “authentic” if authenticity is about playing into what you think needs to be said? If it’s about checking the boxes of what others expect you to say and do?
I’m not talking surface level here. Go deeper.
Who are You?
You are a beautiful blend of light and darkness. You cannot leave that darkness in the dark.
Take it. Be it. Understand that it is part of you and it is fucking perfect. It is there FOR you.
You can't be a whole expression of yourself without both elements of yourself. Without the dark and the light. Without the masculine and the feminine. Without the positive emotion and the negative emotion.
None of it is inherently “wrong”. It’s only wrong if YOU make it wrong. Nobody else can tell You what is right or wrong FOR YOU. Remember this.
Remember this when you find yourself filtering your message because it doesn’t feel loving enough. When it doesn’t feel light enough. When it doesn’t feel urgent enough or whatever other thing you think it needs to be to appease who you’re delivering it to.
Say what you fucking mean.
And don’t be ashamed.
I thought I was serving you, my community by keeping my messages full of love and light. But then I realized something. I’m not always in THAT expression of love. Love can come through in many ways. It’s about intention, not delivery, not the words.
Do you know what isn’t very loving?
Filtering yourself for the benefit of someone else. But isn’t that egotistical? To only think of yourself?
Do you know what’s egotistical? Thinking you can filter your God-Given gifts and messages for the benefit of not
offending someone else.
Let your expressions be pure in ALL of their glory. All of it. Without judgement.
You are not holier-than-thou. But do you know what filtering does to you? It makes you come off that way.
Just fucking be you. In all of your joy and anger. Wouldn't that feel nice? To stop judging your feelings? To stop making it wrong to feel? To just let your feelings, emotions, words flow and be perfect as they are?
Now, it takes growth to get there. It takes a deep self-awareness to understand the difference between ego trips and truth. Play with it. Ask yourself what’s really true. (You know.)
But for the love of God, stop filtering to fit into a box. You do not need to be someone for anyone. Just be you for you. That’s enough. So fucking enough.
Intend to be whole. Intend to be fully expressed. Not a fucking shell of yourself because that’s who you think you need to be. Not just the lightness, the love. Be the whole spectrum of love. Embody every aspect of yourself.
That’s when you are in your power. Completely and fully.
And man does it feel good.
Can you feel the power in sinking deeper into this wholeness?
It's cathartic, yes? Go with it.
My work is all about embodiment. Every fucking part of your soul. This is the work I am here to do. It is what my soul craves, and to be honest with you, sometimes it means being brutally honest and loving in a deeper way.
It means pointing out where you are truly not in alignment with your essence. Not touting positivity and telling you to be love and light. I have my own mentors to do the same for me, because it is never that obvious to us.
When you're yearning to go deeper, sometimes you've got to get really uncomfortable. Anger, sadness, firmness- it all used to be uncomfortable to me. And I realized that I cannot do the work I am here to do without letting those elements of myself come out. It is so insanely necessary for growth. So I did the work. I prayed. I allowed every single fucking aspect of myself be perfect. (I'm not saying I'm perfect here by the way, we always have more work to do.)
I am filling two spots this week in my 1:1 Mentorship. This isn't just coaching. I'm not going to help you overcome you mindset blocks. I'm going to help you raise your energetic standards. I'm going to help you shine your fucking light brighter than you ever knew it could ever be.
I'm going to bring you into the paradigm where you are completely and wholly YOU. Where you serve at your highest. You embody your essence.
We work with Ascended Masters. I hold the space, you receive, they elevate you. And then we keep on working on your energy. We do the seen and the unseen. Coaching to keep you accountable, meditating to feel and understand, energy work to elevate. All of it.
Practically speaking, we meet for an hour bi-weekly with two additional 30 minute sessions available to you as you need it. Messenger support, energetic support, unconditional love.
What you come out of this with is inexplicable. But let me try to explain it to you. You know who the fuck you are and you are not scared to be her. You know what needs to be said, done to reach your personal and business goals. Because you are so you that you just know all the answers.
This isn't about growing your business, having a 6-figure month or having the relationship of your dreams or whatever else. It's about getting everything you desire because you KNOW you are worthy, you know you are enough, you know it is meant for you and you know how to get there.
That's more powerful than any system or structure anyone can ever give you. Because you are you, and you need you. That's what you are stepping into.
If you know one of these spots is yours, message me now.
I love you so much, just as you are.